You Know You Have A Real Jeep If...

[Barthje]

1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside

2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain

3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark

4. You roll it over and don't get upset

5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help

6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb

7. You puke when you see a Samurai

8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush

9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and *****-slap the driver

10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts

11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days

12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"

13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker

14. When you can see OVER a Suburban

15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up

16. When your Nerf! bars battle rocks and win

17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off

18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless

19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break

20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house

21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels again

22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield

23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents

24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints

25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling

26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other

27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof

28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance

29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in

30. You fix almost everything yourself

31. When you feel so! rry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser

32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized

33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground

34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it

35. Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it

36. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway

37. You are dating the Service, Parts or Sales Manager at the Jeep dealership

38. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily

39. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway

40. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep

41. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel

42. You can't take a girl, who's wearing a dress, on a date without carrying along a set of steps

43. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud.

44. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage

45. You nickname your ! Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident

46. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep

47. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station.

48. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm

49. You're constantly getting passed on the highway.

50. Your wallet is always empty.

51. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep

52. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep

[BUFFALO]

<div align="left">40. ANY TIRE THAT ISN'T WAIST HIGH LOOKS LIKE A BAGEL</div>